So there !

So we're all watching a DVD after dinner, because in light of our new more responsible attitude to parenting we aren't allowing the rugrats to watch TV any more (basically cos there isn't actually anything on it that we deem suitable) ...

I disappear out of the room for a few minutes to hang a load of laundry and make dessert and come back in to the sight of two rugrats busily filling in their new Finding Nemo colouring books.

Me : "You don't get to watch TV much any more ... I would have thought you would be watching the movie"
S : (head down, busily finding just the right shade of purple) "We're doing both"
K : (in a tone of total exasperation) "Yeah Mum, we're multi tasking"

Oh.

Not the most flattering things on earth ...

I bought snowboard pants !!

I'm turning into a real South Island girl now :)

Although there is a part of me that balks at the idea I just paid over $100 for an article of clothing that makes my butt look like it's wrapped in a sleeping bag !!!

That's gotta hurt !!

After several weeks of procrastination and indecision, we finally organised ourselves enough at work to go and run around in a forest and shoot each other with paintball guns !!!

I was a little apprehensive, and the closer the time crept to 3.00pm yesterday the scared-ier and scared-ier I was feeling. When we got to work and I realised that the only other girl who works for the company had chickened out and it was just me and 13 guys I felt even more freaked out.

The worst part, honestly, was the few minutes right up until I got hit for the first time. I think it was the not knowing how bad it was going to hurt when I became a target. After the first hit I knew what I was up against, and it really wasn't that bad at all.

I have learnt, however, that when weighing the scales between "layering yourself with as much padding as possible so it doesn't hurt when you get hit by a small projectile travelling at 300ft per second" and "dark ninja cat-burglar type clothing" you're better off blending into the trees and hoping no one sees you. It's great if it doesn't hurt when the pellets hit you, but probably even better that the opposition doesn't see you to aim for you in the first place :P

Even taking into account the bruises (and there are only a couple of them that I even noticed when I woke up this morning), it was a total blast !!!

Can't wait for the next game. And the other girl from work ... doesn't know what she missed !!!

Say it like you mean it ...

Looking through old photos I suddenly realised something ...

Me : "Do you realise you're the only person I've had sex with for the last nine and a half years ?!?!?"
MOTH : (long pause)
MOTH : "And you're the only person I've slept with for that time too you know"
Me : (long pause)
MOTH : "Whoops, should I have said that quicker ?!?"

Letting go ...

Learning to let go is one of the hardest things about being a parent. Smothering them in cotton wool is easy. Not letting them do anything that makes you uncomfortable as a parent ... piece of cake.

A, the little girl from next door came over for a sleepover with S last night. A is six, and was escorted to our front door by her mother. Whenever S goes over to play at A's house, the MOTH or I stand at the front window and watch her walk down the front steps, along the foot path and up the front steps at their house ... allowing her the independence she needs, but with the supervision we need too.

S came home from A's house with two new friends. A little boy and girl who live a few houses down the road. Their parents don't know us, we don't know them. Apparently their parents were not in the slightest bit concerned that their children were either next door, or that they then came here without going home to ask permission first. I would say that perhaps the little boy was five, certainly no more than six.

Yesterday morning, as usual, we went to the butcher. I had some letters that needed posting, so the MOTH suggested the rugrats take them to the Post Office ... across the pedestrian crossing and about three shops down on the other side of the road. He stood at the window of the butcher and watched them the whole way while I tried to buy a lamb roast. I think I only asked "can you still see them, are they OK ?" about four times in the three minutes they were gone.

There is a little boy in K's class at school ... nice kid, very polite, pleasure to be around. He lives about three blocks from our house. I've seen him by himself at the supermarket 3km away, and riding his bike down our street at 8.30 at night.

I've worked really hard to get my rugrats to the point where they are now. It would be far easier to let them ride their bikes or walk to school than it is for me to drive them there. It would be a lot simpler to allow them to go play at the park on the corner than it would be to make the effort to take them, even when pushing a swing is the last thing in the world I feel like doing.

Does that make me protective ... or paranoid ?

Cold enough for you ?!?!?

Probably the very best Queen's Birthday holiday we have ever had !!!

K and the MOTH had a snowball fight ....

And S stood around looking cute and windswept ...

All this less than ten minutes from home in a park on the other side of town !!!

There's no snow in Whangarei :P

On a more serious note ...

Thank you for all your supportive comments regarding the problems we're having with K. I'm pleased to report it looks like we're getting somewhere. The MOTH and I had an appointment with his shrink last week after we had spoken to the school. In light of the comments from school, after school care and our concerns, we finally have some answers.

K has Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Specifically :-

"A pattern of negative, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least 6 months, during which at least four of the following are present :-
- often loses temper
- often argues with adults
- often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
- often deliberately annoys people
- often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
- is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
- is often angry and resentful
- is often spiteful or vindictive"

We answered "Yes" to seven of the above eight criteria. He is also being tested (thoroughly this time) for ADD and ADHD as apparently they usually go hand in hand.

Neither the MOTH nor I had ever heard of ODD before, and obviously we still have a lot to learn about how to manage with it. But giving it a name, and knowing that it isn't us, that it isn't something we've done, and that it isn't just K being a brat has lifted a huge burden off us.

So the good news is we have an answer. The "bad" news if you like is that there isn't a quick fix ... we can't just give him a pill and make it all go away. There are no drugs for ODD ...

The MOTH and I are now enrolled in a parenting class specifically targeted at parents of children with "challenging behaviours" ... and after one class we are already making changes to our home life. It's all good so far ... and K hasn't had a single detention since ...

I'll keep you posted :)

My 200th post !!!!!

In honour of this great occasion, I would like to post a comment by one of the greatest thinkers of our time ...

"We can't all, and some of us don't.
That's all there is to it."

Thank you ... thank you very much :)