At my wits end ...
Life has not been all roses and fairy lights in the King-dom lately. We asked for an appointment with K's teacher and principal on Monday after he came home last week and cheerfully advised us that his class had had ten relieving teachers so far this year ...
In light of the problems he's been having fitting in, and the fact he's still seeing a counsellor regarding his issues from last year, we didn't think this was ideal and wanted to (finally) hear from the school just how he was going ... I mean, here we are halfway through the second term and I can't find anyone to talk to who actually knows who K is as there's a different teacher in his class every time I go in !!! I blithely assumed that as we hadn't heard from the school, no news was good news ...
K has had eight lunchtime detentions so far this term. His "low level annoying behaviour" is chronic. Nothing anyone says seems to sink in. His after school programme has put him on his final warning. We had a big talk with him Monday night, then again last night about how life is about choices and how it is up to him how he chooses to react to situations. He nodded, agreed, said he'd try harder. Today at school he was sent to the principal's office for threatening to hit a classmate with a chair ...
What do we do ? What are we doing wrong ? Where the hell do we go for help now when the shrink / counsellor guy tells us that he has no "real" problems (ie. he doesn't have ADHD or ADD or anything like that) and school tell us that his behaviour issues are something we "need to keep on top of or they could become serious" ... I'm sorry, but an eight year old boy who simply refuses to do what he is told is serious as far as I'm concerned ....
So that's it ... I'm at my wits end, I have no clue ...
posted by Kassi @ 9:08 PM
3 Comments:
ou're in the right ballpark by caring. The wife is a teacher and when she brings stuff liek this to the parents' attention it is usually proclaimed by them that the child is fine at home and it must be something the school has done to the child, therefore the school can fix it. I wish I had answers, but the only thing I've got is to tell you to not give up on him because then he is truly lost.
Hi there...I've been having a think about this since I read it the other day. I've got nothing, I'm sorry.
As you're aware, I've been through my own problems with Ryan...they actually started when he was 8. But that was also the time when his father and I split up, so for a while there I thought it was fall out from the seperation.
He was saying things like "I might as well just kill myself"...and "I want to be dead". I put both boys into counselling and it did seem to help somehow. He settled a little.
As he got older he seemed to deliberately put himself in situations where he could get hurt. He would mouth off at the bigger boys at school to get into a fight. More counselling.
A dear friend said to me several years ago "When you're children are the most difficult to deal with...that's when they need you the most." I've never forgotten it. It's bloody hard when you feel you've exhausted all the resources around you and it still feels you're getting nowhere.
I'm sorry, I've really rambled on heaps. My heart goes out to you, I know how you must be feeling. But hang in there...be strong and stand your ground. And I'd be onto the school as well about all those relieving teachers...I was livid when Ryan had four over a 6 month period. It's got to be so unsettling for them.
thoughts
he has been uprooted twice from friends
He has had 8 different teachers in a class of people he barely knows. I suspect that he is A acting out cuz he doesnt feel like he belongs at all n B he thinks he will get away with it cuz he will probably not even be there much longer.
Sometimes little boys get locked into modes of behaviour they might want to actually change. But they cant change cuz it might be seen to be 'backing down' being a boy is bloody confusing mate.
Hiya by the way Im down in melbourne at the moment.
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