Dear Cat ...

I appreciate that you have had a rough year.
I appreciate that you have been living rough for the past two months.
I appreciate that you are glad to be home.
I appreciate that you have made the MOTH a very very happy man.
I appreciate that Dunedin is vastly different from Whangarei and you may be having a little trouble adjusting.

I do not appreciate being woken at 4.30 in the morning because you are lonely.
I do not appreciate you using K's bedroom as a toilet because it is too cold to go outside (you're wearing a fur coat you wussy animal !!)
I do not appreciate the filthy look you give me when I try to go anywhere near the MOTH.
I do not appreciate you lying right down the centre of the bed.
I do not appreciate you acting like you are doing us a favour by deigning to live with us.

Behave, or I may be forced to get a dog ...